What have I been up to? Well I've been a dancer by firelight, an admin assistant and completely absorbed in reading Catch 22. Did you know that a Woodlouse has a compound eye made up of 22 eyelets? Or that there are 22 official languages spoken in India? Neither of these were reasons why I was reading Catch 22, but I thought them interesting/enjoyable random sychronicities worthy of a mention.
The big question is, how much of a personal blog can I write whilst trying to upload my more school orientated blog onto the web via the school lightning fast 230kbps dial up connection. We're not doing too badly from a personal blog point of view. Int Exp has already randomly quit on me once, so who knows, maybe you'll get a whole ream of pointless info about my latest doings before the net deems me worthy of upload status.
So dancing by firelight…it was solstice the other day, and though I'm not a pagan, I like to honour pertinent earthly moments, usually by having a fire. My passion for shamanism meant that I asked the spirits if there was anything else I should do to honour the moment and they said to dance. So I did. Freely and totally and surrendering all self-consciousness and it was ace. Just taking a moment to let my heart, mind body and soul do what ever the fuck they wanted to do was truly liberating and no less illuminating. I felt as though I emptied/sweated from my being a load of weighty and to that point oppressive doubts and fears and I returned to my room feeling lighter and more connected than I had for some time.
My admin assistant's role consists mainly of having a usb stick/pen drive (depending on your choice of appellation) and knowing how to use it to get one important document from place A to place B so it can be printed/scanned /sent as necessary. This would not seem too arduous a role, but you'd be amazed to the extent the intricacies of Indian bureaucracy have kept me busy recently.
Dial up update…managed to open my email inbox…not yet managed to open the vital email I need to, or to paste my school blog into a mail to post it on the blog site…so I guess you're stuck with me. I did write a vaguely amusing poem following my dancing exploits, but it's on my pen-drive and I'm loath to risk computer/internet shutdown by introducing the unknown quantity of a usb stick to a computer that's struggling enough as it is. You might think it ridiculous to be so cautious, but I have witnessed usb sticks miraculously turn off entire computer networks here, so my prudence is justified believe me.
For those of you who know I like photos of large turds…I dreamt the other night that lilly allen sent me a photo of her biggest turd. Quite what is going on in my sub/unconscious to conjure such a dream I have absolutely no idea.
Today I have been digging holes and buying pots and pans. I have been digging holes and buying pots and pans because tomorrow (xmas day) is the inaugural GMMCS after school club. On this occasion 'after school club' is a bit of a misnomer, since the children are on holiday and school does not restart until 1st January. At this time, however, the activities, which will be taking place throughout the day tomorrow, will then take place after school. I have been digging holes to erect nets for coaching drills and have been nuying pots and pans because I intend to have cookery club as part of the activities. Not surprisingly, I am going to try and teach the children how to make pancakes.
Dial up update…important email opened…attachment has been clicked on…will it download? Yes it will…but it will take 4mins 32secs to download a 200kb file! Loving it! Oohh oohh…make that 16mins 52secs…How the f**k does that workout? Ahh…we've gone from downloading at 420 bytes/sec to 132 bytes/sec….now 63 bytes/ sec…can you imagine how long it's take you to download a pirated film? No wonder it's only become an issue recently. Before that it was just stoners who were trying it cos they were too lazy to walk to blockbusters…and after an hour of waiting for it to download they'd forgotten what they were doing anyway and had turned the computer off, so they could plug in the hoover and see what a Vacu-job felt like.
Is there such thing as a Vacu-job, or have I just made it up? I quite like the name. I'm tempted to start up a fetish website to see if there's any mileage in it…you know, the kind of loners who were so repressed they got a kick out of seeing their mum get busy with the Shake'n'Vac will be beating a path to my site, weeping with gratitude that finally, out of all the myriad weird filth available on the net, someone has finally had the vision and nous to cater to their particular carnal idiosyncrasy.
Right, that definitely filled some time. Apparently there's 31 secs of download remaining…no…no…It's done. Hallelujah, praise jesus (thought I'd be topical with my praise).
Right, now to try and upload the school blog – at www.GeorgeGMMCS.blogspot.com for those of you who can't get enough of me…or just want an excuse not to talk to a particularly boring or pompous relative.
And there we are…another random quittage from internet explorer. It appears that if I ask it to do more than one thing in my inbox, it overloads and commits cybercide…is that another new word? Cybercide…is it a verb or a noun – to commit cybercide… the act of a webpage or program randomly shutting down for no apparent reason.
So we have vacu-job and cybercide…I can't decide which I'm more proud of. If I knew how, and was on a broadband connection, I'd set up some kind of poll or petition to decide which is more popular and whether we could generate enough support to get it added to the dictionary. I have to say it seems probable that 'cybercide' would find more usage in common parlance, with vacu-job being reserved for a more underground/risqué clientele.
Right…all other work completed…so, having added to your vocab, and thus provided you with some scintillating tit-bits to impress your relatives/friends, I bid you good night and good day, and will write soon with news of how the afterschool clubs and vacu-jobs.com are progressing.
One love.
x
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